Hey!! How have you been?

My oldest’s soccer team needed a coach and– hold my PSL– did you know I played super competitive soccer? I even made it to one of the final brackets in the CocaCola Harlem Cup when I was 14!🏆 (goalie!)

Of course I marched into Play It Again Sports and bought a whiteboard, cones and pennies for scrimmages (which are those neon mesh tanks so we can tell who’s on which team).

I was SO freaking excited to help these boys become EPIC players. But here’s what I didn’t anticipate:

It didn’t matter how much I knew as an experienced player. It also didn’t matter how excited I was to coach them.

Because it wasn’t about ME at all (obvi) 😅

But when I thought about THEIR motivations, I was delusionally off base.

I thought their #1 goal would be to win… and therefore, they’d want to become better players, right?

Nope.

Their goal was, get this:

To play soccer with their friends 🤣

That’s it. That was all they wanted.

💡 I could turn that into an entire lesson around getting out of your expert POV to speak in the language of your audience, but I’ll just leave this reminder for you to make damn sure you’re talking about things your customer cares about. Not just what YOU know they need😉

But back to these 10 year old boys, who for the record, do NOT listen. Ever. I quickly observed that while most had played before, they had little understanding of the game beyond the basic concept:

try to score a goal
don’t use your hands unless you’re the goalie
do your best to not let the other team score
eat snacks from a brown paper bag and chug a gatorade zero when done

They really didn’t even care about winning or losing– which as an 80s baby who is viciously competitive at everything, I was like… wait, WHAAAT?!?! 😂

So coaching step #1 was to chill out and lower my bar.

Step #2: adopt a covert coaching strategy and disguise skill building as games (because I was still a coach, not a playground chaperone).

Bring on sharks and minnows, capture the flag ball and other U10 games I learned on youtube.

And the difference between game 1 and 2 was actually noticeable (sure, got their butts kicked both times, but improvement!)

So week 3, I turned up the heat.

The boys thought they won the lottery when I announced we were scrimmaging for the whole practice, but with a twist of something I called ‘Red Light, ReRun’ (which I made up on the fly)

When I blew the whistle that meant Red Light and they all froze.

I’d have them look around and notice the problem with their positioning (bunching all together vs creating space? Standing behind a player vs getting open? Picking a wedgie when they should be watching?)

We strategized how they could adjust what they were doing and have a better outcome.

Then we WALKED the better way (because telling kids what to do doesn’t really TEACH them to do it, they have to EXPERIENCE it) ​
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​💡*ahem* another teaching lesson about building skills not just imparting knowledge *ahem*

I’d blow the whistle and they would RERUN the play at full speed.

Look, it did not go as smoothly as I just described, it was more like herding cats hopped up on nip…

And after practice I worried that I was expecting too much from them and that I should stick to coaching grown ups (because then at least I can swear 😅)
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​But then game 3 happened.

After knocking on their shinguards and showing the ref their cleats, the boys walked onto the field with more confidence than I’d seen.

Short-lived, as the other team scored twice in under 5 minutes 🫠

My goalie playing son got so pissed he almost walked off the field.

One look at him, “Red light. Rerun.”

I watched him regain his composure and channel his frustration into the game (and yo! He got aggressive in the BEST way!)

Those boys held it together and defended HARD.

But the thing out of our control was the opposing team had a huge advantage.

They had an ARMY of subs on the bench. They could swap five players at a time which meant fresh lungs, fresh legs and speed.

Meanwhile, we had two subs.

The other team scored FIVE goals by minute 14.

I could see the disappointment set in across our team.

But then, something magical happened.

Red light. Rerun.

I watched these boys reset… and in a slew of very lucky events, they got the ball down field and to EVERYONE’S SHOCK...

THEY SCORED 🎉
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And let me tell you, it was like those boys won the WORLD FREAKING CUP 🏆

LITERAL jumping up and down as they rallied around each other screaming “LETS GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

(I, too, may have been jumping up and down on the side lines, but again, this isn’t about me)

Whistle blew. Red light. Rerun.

It was now the other team’s ball, but the energy had shifted.

And holy shit, Reader!

Less than 45 seconds THEY DID IT AGAIN.

This time, the other team was shocked.

And they got pissssssed.

Then they got sloppy, whiffing kicks (their coach red faced yelling, meanwhile, me and my co-coach were fist bumping)

And our boys LEANED IN.

They scored FOUR goals before the half ended and practically stampeded us off the field screaming…

“I can’t believe that just happened”
“Bruh, he got coooooked on that last one!”
“OMG ARE WE GOOD NOW?!” 🤣
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Their energy was buzzing. And I could have never predicted that feeling of pride and joy I had for them. ❤️

(I mean I should have, I have the same feeling when my clients take the stage and rock it)

But there was something just so special about this moment.

Because it was when I realized I’d initially thought wrong.

It wasn’t that they didn’t care about winning, it was that they hadn’t believed that they could… until they saw proof that it was possible.

A shift happened almost instantly and they saw themselves differently. ​
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I’m not just telling this to you to drop a real-life Mighty Ducks moment in your inbox… I needed to remind you: it’s time for YOU to make a shift, too. ​
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We’re in a weird spot in the “expert” industry. Everyone’s calling themselves one (even when they have no business doing so 😬).

Content and opinions are everywhere, and the very people you want to help are drowning in it. Who do they trust? What actually works? Half the time it feels impossible to tell.
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Add in the constant negativity— the politics, the economy, the daily online outrage about which “buzzword” we’re supposed to cancel this week. It’s a lot.
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​Which is why Taylor Swift’s recent line stuck with me: your energy is expensive.
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So here’s a gut-check to end your week as we near the last quarter of the year:

If you were brutally honest… When it comes to showing up in your business, is your energy right now about proving you’re credible? Or about showing up as the authority people already look to for direction?

Because right now, we don’t need more experts, we need more leaders.

A leader has a vision.
A leader influences.
A leader communicates with power.
A leader empowers.
A leader creates change.

Which is why I’ve created something new, it's called Signature ERA™

A speaking mentorship + mastermind for business owners who speak, teach and lead. And I’d like to invite you to become a Founding Member. ​
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I recorded a video to share what this new chapter is about, why I made the change, and how it can shift the way you use speaking in your business (so you can step into your next level of authority)

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Oh, and if you're wondering how the second half went, we lost. The other team scored like 5 more goals 🫠. But would you believe they showed up to practice this week requesting drills and asking me to TEACH them how to better shoot / dribble / settle the ball?! 😱
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So hey, maybe my initial thought really wasn't that far off? Next game is Sunday, wish us luck?
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H

Heather Sager | Speaker. Mentor. Educator. Helping business owners speak, teach, and lead—better. 🎤 Founder, The Signature Era™ | 🎧 Host, The Ramble Refinery Podcast​

PS. TL;DR? Fair. 😅 New program. New chapter. Signature ERA™ is here. Founding Member doors are open → watch the video + join here.​