It’s my 42nd birthday today and I’m exactly where I want to be.

Feels a little astonishing to write that because of something I learned about myself years ago on a low ropes course.
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I took my team to an outdoor adventure park. This is back when I was the VP of Learning & Development for a management firm in healthcare. I was that manager who loved doing that stuff, but so did my team🤣. One time we went cosmic bowling and I got a TURKEY (3 strikes in a row) and got the nickname SagerBomb! But back to this story… ​
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The facilitator asked us to line up based on whether we were more empowerment or betterment focused.
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​Empowerment = default tendency to see the good / what’s working​
​Betterment = default tendency to see what could be improved ​
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As everyone started shuffling to where they perceived themselves, I was surprised by the question that came out of my mouth:
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​“Do you mean what we focus on in others or… ourselves?”

I was reminded that apparently there ARE stupid questions when he looked at me confused (and slightly annoyed) because I was making it deeper than this college kid on summer break intended.
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I was a betterment person.

But I was a different shade of betterment as a leader than I was with myself.

As a leader, I found ways to improve things (and people 🫣which my husband will attest to) but I also had really good eye for seeing the TALENT in people. It’s what makes me an awesome coach 😉
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But apparently, I sucked at SELF leadership because when it came to me I only saw opportunity.

It was hard to celebrate wins. I brushed off compliments. I had a hard time answering (dumb) questions like “what are your strengths?”. Yada yada, let’s go make shit better.

I only saw the gap between where I was and where I could be. Where I wanted to be.

And I’ve lived in that gap the majority of my life. The gap became my success driver.

It’s why I excelled in the Miss America program (did you know I earned close to 30K in scholarship money to help pay for college? ← which was a godsend, because after my mom died my senior year, I didn’t want my dad to have to worry about me. He had enough medical debt from her treatment).
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​Closing gaps is also how I became the head of my department at 28 in a Forbes fastest growing company. Responsible for all live events, training, coaching, online and in person events and leadership programs, later opening a training center in Scottsdale, running HR, then eventually spearheading integrating it all into the global company who acquired us for $151M 😳 (it was a riiiiide)
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I don’t tell you this to brag (but heey it IS my birthday!!!!), just daaang, I’ve done a LOT in my career.

But what I lacked early on was this truth:

You can’t lead others well, if you don’t lead yourself, first.

So 12 years ago, I made a commitment to BECOME THE LEADER WHO WALKS THE TALK.

To speak kinder to myself.
To hold excellence as a standard.
To be the kind of person others choose to follow.
To not let myself off the hook for the things I said mattered.
To make my GROWTH my number one priority.
To redefine what success looks like for ME.

And I've become someone I am dang PROUD OF.

proud of how I show up for my clients.
proud of the magic I create on a stage.
proud of how committed I am to my health.
proud of how I show up as a wife, mom and general human ❤️

Of course, there’s still opportunity to grow in each other these areas 😅 BUT…

by continually becoming the best version of me, I no longer chase success. I’ve become it.

It's how I operate.

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​And if you’ve been operating in that continual betterment gap trap like I used to (and sometimes slide into), feeling like you’re not quite there yet, like you have so much further to go… like you’re not as far along as you should be by now.

Might I kindly, shake you by the freaking shoulders and say:
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KNOCK IT OFF.

You’re EXACTLY where you need to be, to learn the lessons you MUST learn for what’s coming in your next chapter.

And in that chapter, you get to choose a different measuring stick.

You get to become the version of YOU, that you keep dreaming about.

You get to be proud of who you are and how you show up in the world.

Because when that happens…

You naturally want to show up, more.
You share from a place of conviction.
You market yourself without guilt.
You stop second guessing your ideas (or your hands gestures 😅)
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​...which gives you more time to enjoy this ride.

So, if you’ve been holding yourself to a success standard you haven’t yet achieved, whether it's a delusional carrot in your head or an arbitrary revenue number someone somewhere planted in your brain…
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Success isn’t a destination somewhere in the future.
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​Success is WHO you choose to be, now.
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​And right now, for my birthday (which apparently I’m going to keep reminding you of 🤣), I want you to celebrate YOU.

So, TELL ME! What's 1 thing you’re proud of today? Life, business... readers choice!

Don’t be humble. Hit reply and own it. Pinky promise I won’t turn it into a weird team building activity ;)
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OK, off to make my birthday cupcakes because I’m the best only baker in my house. Hope this landed just when you need it today ❤️.
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Coach H

Heather Sager • Certified High Performance Coach for Visible Leaders Helping business owners speak, lead and live—better.​ ​🔗 Let's Work Together | 🎧 Listen to the Hint of Hustle podcast [new episodes drop Apr 7]​ ​

PS - if you’re a reader like me, here’s 2 books that align with what I shared today (and that I wish I had early in my journey):

Side note: I became a certified high performance coach in 2020, but haven’t talked about it much outside my private clients. Next week I’ll be going through recertification and have been feeling a pull to share more about leadership and becoming a high performer in my content. If today’s email resonated with you and you want more content like this, let me know:)

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PPS - oh! I realized that there IS one thing I wish I could change right now, I shared about it yesterday on instagram, if you're curious watch it here.